Rule No.7: People will always tell you who they are. Believe them the first time.
We tend to ignore the facts and accept and even fall in love with the idea of the people we built up in our minds. Sooner or later reality will clash with such imaginary constructs and pain is then inevitable. Try to stay objective and keep idealization at a minimum so that you will be able to see people for what they truly are and not as you would want them to be. And everyone is unintentionally helping you in this.
You see, people have an uncontainable urgency to tell you who they are. Every. Single. Time. However, not with their words. Words are compressed air, they mean little and are worth even less, especially to narcissists who will say what you need to hear once they get to know you. Their actions, however, their actions always speak the truth about who they truly are. Believe them. Actions talk. Bullshit walks.
Rule No.6: Protect your own. Keep everyone else at a distance.
A man needs three things: a steel sword to protect his family; a silver sword to keep the beasts at bay; and a pure heart to be able to distinguish between the two. That last part is the trickiest one.
Rule No.5: Never betray a friend or a spouse.
I have a BSc in Neurobiology from one of the best North American universities and a PhD in Cognitive Neuroscience from one of the oldest Greek ones. I speak three languages. I have published a dozen scientific papers and numerous articles. Condensed 2-pages CVs are hard for me to construct because of all the facts I have to leave out. And yet, I know that all those accomplishments were simply the result of hard work and dedication, I am not particularly proud of any of them. Do you know what is the single thing I am truly proud off? The fact that I never, ever let down a friend or betrayed the trust of a girl.
Rule No.4: Do your very best. Every time.
If you want to be able, wherever you lay down your head, to sleep with a light heart and a clear conscience, you have to be able to honestly say to yourself: “today, I did my very best”. If it was not enough, tomorrow you may get another chance - or maybe not. It does not matter. Your best is all that can be expected from you.
Rule No.3: Forgive the shortcomings of others. Every day.
When others fail you or even intentionally wrong you, forgive them. It would be utopic to expect anyone to forget as well yet do not waste your future by dwelling in the past. There is only one direction in life: ahead. And the path is far from easy so try not to burden yourself with old weight. Especially if it is not yours to carry.
Rule No.2: This too shall pass.
I lost my mother at a young age. I still miss her dearly - yet I survived. Some years later, I was paralyzed for months from Guillain-Barre syndrome. I did not know if I was to ever walk again - yet fully recovered. Ten years later, human pettiness denied me the University professor tenure-track position I had been working all of my life towards. Almost immediately following this major professional setback, I was divorced by my wife of 9 years. And I had to come to grips with all this at the height of the Greek economic crisis, which left me essentially unemployed for more than a year. So, believe me when I tell you that, no matter the difficulty or misfortune you are currently in: this too shall pass. Happiness is a choice. It is not the place where you find yourself into. It is what you choose to focus upon.
Rule No.1: God loves you and is watching your every step.
The great majority of people beleive in the existence of God. However, it is not until one believes in His loving Providence that the powers of faith get unleashed. Try to enjoy this life as much as you can yet never forget that this world is our exile.
Because, sooner or later, one way or another, we are all going home.
